Continuing in the vein of being a bit more open and transparent about where the current tide is taking me, I would like to discuss a bit more of what I am, and what I am not. I am a Pagan. I am a Polytheist. I am a Druid. I work with two Trickster Gods: Coyote, and Crow. Currently, there is a Goddess starting to manifest within all of that as well. I am unsure of exactly who She might be, merely that She has been referred to as a “Warrior Queen.” At this particular moment, Her identity is not nearly as important to me as what has been conveyed to me. My role in the world around me continues to evolve (surprised? I’m not).
We are all aware of the surging battle that rages all around us. This has been labeled as a “culture war” by many on the ideological Right, and even some on the Left. However, I would submit that it is not that. Certainly, the subtle colors of our collective culture are one of the outcomes of what will happen, but this is not a battle solely for that. This is a battle for inclusion and equality. For the chance for everyone to have their voices heard and given equal consideration and weight in the overall discussion of how our society is shaped. There are many folks fighting these battles that use the nom-de-guerre of “social justice warriors” for themselves. Let me be clear. This is not me. Nor is this role what I am to assume as has been conveyed to me. I am not here to battle. I am here to protect, assist, and care for those as best I can.
Perhaps, a better term for me would be from the Samurai culture – that of Ronin. Ronin were Samurai who had lost their master. According to Bushido code, Samurai that lost their master were to commit suicide rather than live a life of a master-less wanderer. So, in some sense, Ronin was not always considered to be a flattering concept. However, a Ronin Samurai always tried to live by the rest of the code of honor, despite not following this one precept. According to some legends, as well as some fictional films and books, Ronin wandered the countryside, seeking only to right wrongs. A rather ambiguous, yet romantic vision, of a do-gooder wandering through society, fighting for the good of those who cannot fight. Let me stress here, this is mostly fiction, but the overall concept has a certain appeal to me – both on a personal level, as well as from what I have managed to gather in meditations.
I am not an individual that seeks a fight. Not even a debate or an argument. I have opinions and have no problem setting my perspective into the public square on nearly any topic. I am not available to debate the point or even to argue its merits (or lack thereof), merely just setting a different point of view out to be seen and taken (or not) into consideration. The same holds true for physical confrontation. I will step between two people involved in an argument that seems to be escalating. I am not there to fight, but rather there to allow cooler heads to prevail. I will defend myself if the need comes to that. However, if I am backed into a corner, and provided no alternative route to walk away, I will fight. I learned to fight from basic self-defense in the United States military. The techniques I learned are not methods that make me proud of who I am, nor do I consider many of these to be honorable. I will not fight fairly. I do not fight to win or lose. I fight to survive. And because of this methodology, I choose not to fight until there is no other alternative, including walking away.
As I noted, I am not a Social Justice Warrior. I will not pretend to be such. I have friends throughout the spectrum of politics, spiritual beliefs, ethnic backgrounds, educational backgrounds, and social strata. I understand why people are fighting for the causes that they believe in. And I am quite proud of what they are doing. They are stepping into their convictions and doing what they feel is relevant and necessary. I am also saddened when I see aspects of this hijacked and taken to obvious extremes. I also realize that there may come times when my position of being a protector will put me at opposite ends of the spectrum from them. At this time, I have not been placed in that position…yet. With the wildness of this current Storm, I am cognizant that anything can happen.
I carry my staff nearly everywhere I go. Walks in my neighborhood. When I go places (it stays in the cab of my truck). Hikes in the nearby wild areas in north Texas near the Red River. Even to work (again, it stays in the cab of my truck). My staff is for far more than walking and holding up my fat ass when I stand. I am aware of its usages outside of its easily recognizable uses. I continually hope and pray (yes, Pagans and Polytheists DO pray) that I never have to utilize it outside of my mundane uses. Thus far, I have only threatened its usage as a weapon once. I hope to never have to do it again during my existence in this incarnation. Yet, I am always prepared to do so.
As for my Lady Goddess. She was referred to as “the Warrior Queen”, which I have assumed to be The Morrigan. Her hair has been different colors in my meditations and dreams. At one time, it was red, another time it was jet black, and another it was blonde. As far as I know, this does not indicate that She is likely to not be The Morrigan. Some suggestions from those I have confided in have been that She may be Brigid, or even The Morrigan’s sister, Badb Catha. Being that Her name translates to “Battle Crow” I think this might be a little more likely. But admittedly, my research has been minor on this at this time. Whoever She may be, the point is being made clear to me. Much like the romanticised figure of the Ronin in the Samurai culture of Japan, it is time for me to find myself in the role of Protector again. I am not here to fight for a cause of any sort. Rather, I am there to ensure that balance is maintained so civil discourse can be had. Where and how that happens…I am unsure, but I will keep my senses open to find where that is necessary. And that does not necessarily translate to physical means, of course.