This is the time of year where my travels typically stack up like overseas flights coming in for a landing at the airport. I have a retreat in south-central Texas for ADF Imbolc, then Pantheacon the weekend after that, and a professional trip after the following weekend to Houston. And a couple of weeks later, on to Louisiana for the OBOD Gulf Coast Gathering. Last night, I firmed up the details to attend CalderaFest in October. And there’s my first trip to Washington State….ever…to attend Many Gods West. That’s a lot of time away from home. And a lot of time away from my Stone Circle.
I am thankful that I have a job that can provide enough monetary resources for me to make travel like this, as well as the vacation time to do so. And while I am frightened to near death to fly, I am still thankful that I have the ability to do this as well. But every so often, I wonder what in the Nine Hells I am doing? By nature, I am a full-fledged introvert. I can be social with the best of them, but I prefer doing so in a group of people that I know. Why am I travelling to music festivals and conferences where I will encounter far more strangers than I have ever seen in a place before? And with my distaste of large crowds, I am placing myself into the middle of a maelstrom of people. Have I lost my fucking mind??
Actually, I have not. And while I have a distaste of crowds, and tend to pull myself into my shell – there is a need that needs to be met. No. Not glory. Not to become some Big Name Pagan (a semi-humorous and semi-scornful descriptive that I find not only distasteful but disgusting). No. Its because of the #Storm. Its because we, people who find themselves staring down the spear-point of a potentially dictatorial government, held by a spiteful, hate-filled element of society that would keep those that are different from them out or under the soles of their jackboots pressed against our necks – we need to know we are not alone. And not just through words on a computer screen. We need to be able to touch one another. Hold hands. Speak directly to one another over a cup of coffee or tea. Because we make it through the #Storm together.
Its also for the old Gods. I have the interest of three. There are far many more. At the conferences, the gatherings, and even the music festivals – we gather together in fellowship with one another. We honor the old Gods. We give thanks to Them for being a part of our daily lives, even the Ones that we do not interact directly with. We gather to be the Pagans and Polytheists and what else have you – that we are. Together. We fellowship with one another. We talk, we discuss, we respectfully debate and disagree, and we learn. We get all of that from one another, and from our respectful honoring of the old Gods.
So why do I travel? Why do go to these crowded events? To be there for others. To listen. To sympathize. To lend a shoulder where it may be needed. To find others who can be there for me. For those that can listen to me and sympathize. To find shoulders that are being offered as support for me. Because we are in this together. Because in being who I am, and not letting the Pagan that I am, the Priest that I am, the Polytheist I am be buried under the onslaught of issues coming from the actions of my United State government under the control of Donnie.
I resist. In the words of Malcolm Reynolds, I aim to misbehave. Not just through protests, not just through petitions, but by being who I am. By living the way that I should, as a Pagan, as a Priest, as a Polytheist…without apology. Without flinching. I do what I know how to do, being the Pagan that I am, the Priest that I am, the Polytheist I am. I resist by not conforming to some cookie-cutter vision of what an American is. I resist by being who I am. I travel to fellowship with others who also resist – who also live as they are without apology. Without flinching.
Together, we will make it through the #Storm. At times it will not be easy. It will seem hopeless at others. But we work together. We band together. We resist together. We will survive the #Storm together. And we will honor our Gods as we do so, by continuing to be who we are. In the manner that we can. By living our lives without apologies and without flinching. By being what we are. By being who we are.