Hi! No, its not a blog post on a schedule. I am writing this as I wait for the sun to come up on a Saturday morning. Yes, I should be in south Texas, enjoying time with friends at the ADF Imbolc Retreat. But work and the world had other plans. So I am still up here in north Texas, for this weekend. Not what I had planned, but that’s all right. I’ll pout a little over this weekend, but I’m not going to come unglued over the change in plans.
Just shortly after I got home from my nightmare of Federal Reporting during my day of work, I found out that a friend of mine had passed away. Now, Fireman Bill and I were not particularly close, but at one time, he was in the role of being an unofficial mentor of mine. He taught me a lot about how to show people that you care, and the value of being there when you can. And while I am sad that he has passed beyond the veil, I’m also happy that our paths crossed in Life – even for the short time that it did. So, as I sit here and drink my morning coffee, I am reminded of his attitude in life.
From time to time, Life hands you a lemon and says “suck on that.” The question is not how you are going to react to being played a bad hand, but rather how you take that lemon or that bad hand of cards and move forward.
Let’s be honest here. Not everyday that I have is going to be full of cawing members of the Crow Squadron, pleased to see me. Not everyday is going to be filled with profound magickal moments. Not everyday is going to have people smiling, happy to see me, praising my work ethic, or pleased to have a deep, meaningful discussion. There will be bad days. Or as Cat Treadwell, someone I look up to in many ways (come on Cat – you are taller than me!), has said before – there are days that the Black Dog will visit. She wrote an excellent book, “Facing the Darkness” which deals with moments like this. Later today, I will likely pick this book up again, just to read her words for a few moments, and recalibrate my system. Yes, folks, its a very good book – and the words within it are worth far more than the price of the book itself.
This morning has been the start of that recalibration. I made a cup of coffee. I sat here at the keyboard of my MacPro, and I wrote my feelings of the morning. My personal journal is where I tend to vent these days. Its a safe place, but it is nothing compared to my personal inner grove. That is where I will move towards in my morning meditation as the sun comes up. My quiet moment in the backyard, facing the East, cup of coffee in my hand, and the bag of birdseed at my feet. And when I am finished, I will sit on the backyard patio for a few minutes and experience the solitude of the quiet morning. That will be the start of the morning for me. Just as it always is. Its my armor against the bad moments of the coming day. Its my moment of remembering that Life continues around me, no matter what happens.
I could pout and whine about the loss of my friend, or the fact that I didn’t get to attend a retreat that I was looking forward to. In fact, I did just a little while ago in my journal. But with that having past, its time to turn my attention towards the day ahead of me. To spend it remembering the memories of a guy that always had a smile on his face, and a massive bear hug for people – and the manner in which he touched everyone’s lives. Working towards finishing the lessons of my Bardic Grade with the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids. Looking at how much I have managed to accomplish with my personal determination, and how much these lessons have helped to shape who I am as a person.
The quote that tends to come to mind for most folks is “finding that silver lining”. For me, its not about finding some silver lining, its remembering how much my friends – both face-to-face and online – are such an important part of my life. I am lucky that I am in a financial position that provides me some degree of comfort. I am far luckier in the people that have touched my life in various ways, and those that continue to do so. That alone, is a wealth that cannot be counted anywhere – other than in my heart.
Seo le tús an lae – d’fhéadfadh na Déithe bhfabhar gach céim a ghlacadh agat inniu agus amárach