A Few Thoughts on Awen…Inspiring and Being Inspired

Awen
Awen

I am completely intrigued with folks that not only embrace their creative side, but are completely consumed by it. Growing up, I had my own areas of hero worship. My love of technology had me completely absorbed with anything that Steve Wozniak had a hand in creating. On my home office wall, I have an Apple ][ motherboard that I mounted to a piece of wood. Its there because I see not only the technical side of its setup, but I also am enamored by the sheer beauty of its simplistic design. I am also very much drawn into the musical side of things as well. During my latter high school years, I had two individuals I looked up to – Randy Rhoads and Cliff Burton. I played bass, and really wanted to be able to play like Cliff Burton – and had wanted to play on stage with Randy Rhoads.  Just once. Each of them died in accidents while on tour – Randy in Florida in a single-engine plane crash, and Cliff in Europe in a bus accident. I still look at their contributions to music as a major inspiration in my life.

Back in my late teens and early twenties, it was really easy to look and see the beauty in someone else’s playing of a musical instrument or the creation of some piece of technology. As I got older, I found inspiration in other areas through the creative of others. The movie Dead Poet’s Society left a lasting impression on me in many ways – the creative in the written word, the creativity of the spoken word, the beauty of inspiring others to reach deep within themselves to find who they truly are. And I find myself being able to do just that with some of the students I encounter in my classroom.

I teach a fairly boring subject – Business Information Systems. To be completely honest, there’s not much you can do to excite someone’s passion about finding patterns in data that can be exploited for the increase of a company’s profit margin. I do my best to try and keep the students focused on the material – but I do attempt to inject some other information into the material as well. I try to show them where the information comes from, how much of it is them just freely giving away pieces of their lives in the Social media platforms, and how companies try to draw these patterns into a series of relationships and assumptions of them as consumers. I spend approximately seventeen weeks with the students in a normal semester. And over that course of time, I learn more about them. I eventually find out where they are trying to aim themselves in their lives, what their goals and ambitions are – and most importantly, I eventually get to know what it is that drives them in their lives. I have had students that are writers in my classes, students that want to get into the medical professions so that they can help others, and students that are just trying to find a way to make as much money as they want. I don’t always agree with their dreams and desires, but I always try to help point them in directions where they might get more knowledge to achieve those dreams and goals – or encourage them to take chances by submitting their writing somewhere – and encourage them to look at rejection in the light of

Its not a ‘no‘ – its ‘not yet‘.

And watching them accept a new way of seeing the world, watching them learn how to don their armor against a world that may reject them outright, and in some cases, getting the chance to see them succeed beyond their wildest imaginations – that inspires me. I will be honest, I get paid shit wages for the time I put into the students. With money running tight, I am now seeking a part-time job that will help hold off some of the bills going into the future. I am not looking for a job that will replace my teaching, but rather something I can do to augment what I make as a teacher – so that I can continue to do what I have come to love.

I have said it numerous times before – I never viewed myself as a teacher or as a leader. I am now entering my fourth year of teaching – and have discovered a job that I enjoy doing, and something that inspires me to take chances in areas I had never dreamed of trying. Earlier this year, I submitted one of my poems into the Literature contest put on by the English Department. I not only won first place in my category, but I also won the award for Literary Excellence – a sort of “best in show” award. I have never won any award for my poetry before – but I have never considered my poetry to be that good. I was inspired to take a chance – and its shed light into an area of my world that I had never considered to be more than outlet for my own emotions.

I’m aware that not every single student I have is inspired by the things I say or the material that I show to them. Not everyone finds my teaching style to be engrossing or fun. Everyone sees the world differently – I am merely glad that I can get some people inspired enough to chase their dreams – and am completely excited when I am contacted by former students who have made their dreams into reality. Every semester, I run into former students who are excited to see me in the hallways or in my old classroom – and they want to tell me how well they have done. And I listen, smile and laugh with them over their triumphs. Inside, I am humbled to the point of being on my knees and shedding tears for their joys, their triumphs, and their personal discoveries. There are days that I will stand in my classroom and see disinterested students staring into the distance – and wonder to myself what the fuck am I doing in here? And all of that melts away, when I met students that I managed to touch that strain of Awen within them – and I see how much they smile when they see me. And that’s the moment that I remember – this is what I am doing. This is why I teach. No curriculum will ever approach that. No set of quizzes, tests or Case Study will measure this outcome. And for me, this Outcome is far more important than any letter-grade or number-grade I could ever give to a student’s submitted assignment.

And walking to the window
He throws the shutters out against the wall
And from an ivory tower hears her call
‘Let light surround you’
-‘Surrounded‘ by Dream Theater

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