Claimed by Crow and Coyote. Yeah. My spiritual life revolves around a pair of trickster Gods. Crow is a bit easier to follow of the two. Far more obvious in the directions that I am to take, and what I should be focusing. Coyote, on the other hand, can be damningly (is that even a word?) maddening. Lots of dead-ends and blind curves in what I am given as lessons. I can literally find myself slamming my fists against the floor with great shouts of “why?” massing in the air around me. And to be frankly honest, a little disheartening as well.
About a week ago, during a particular meditation, I was given the reasoning behind all of these crazed directions.
You have to learn to crawl before you can walk. You have to learn before you can jog. You have to learn to jog before you can run. You have to learn to run before you can sprint. Then you can rest.
Its a basic concept that I had overlooked. After all, in cryptography, you have to master the basic functions of mathematics – addition, subtraction, multiplication, division – before you move on to more advanced concepts such as algebraic functions, boolean mathematics, integer factorization, computational fractions, and a host of other mathematical theories. Then, after mastering those functions, one can apply those to alpha-numeric applications to create crypt-texts and start studying cryptological theories. Crawl before walking. Walk before jogging. Jog before running.
One of my bigger problems in working ritual is that I approach it with far too serious a mindset. And if you have ever met me face-to-face, you know how strange a statement that is. I am constantly cracking jokes, making smart-ass commentary, and popping off with wry statements. Its literally the most difficult thing in the world to keep me being serious for long periods of time. I like living, and enjoy laughter and fun more than anything else. I love to be around people that are happy, people that are laughing – and if I have to be the power that drives people in that direction – so be it. Where that guy goes when it comes to ritual, I have no idea.
As a Libra, I find it a completely ironic perspective to have. In all other aspects of my life – even when teaching classes – I am Mister Smart-ass. Get me into a ritual, and its like someone shoved a massive sceptre up my ass. I become very rigid, very focused. When Crow and Coyote first showed up to put their claim to me – the first notion I got was “Have more fun in ritual. Stop being so damn serious. Celebrate.” And to be really open, I still have problems enacting that in my rituals.
I am not into elaborate, scripted, rigid rituals. Never have been. My idea of a ritual is far more free-flowing, more impromptu. I like grabbing hold of the energy and being free. Ironic, isn’t it? I use a form of ritual that lends itself readily to frivolity and mirth…and I utilize it in much the same way that a conservative banker in a three-piece suit would experience a Beltane celebration in a warm Spring rain. And sitting here writing this is like being slapped in the face with a cold, slimy brown trout.
So, I am chosen by a pair of trickster Gods.They are a part and parcel of my life. They are in my meditations, and sometimes even in my dreams. Certainly, I know people who will say they are in my imagination – bully for those people. As surely as I know that the Gods do exist, I also know I do not need to explain or “prove” their existence either. They just are. And that works for me. I am not saying that anyone else has to have the same exact vision of the way the world is laid out…if I did, I would be a conservative Christian or an adherent to some other ultra fundamentalist belief. For me the Gods just are. Coyote and Crow whisper in my ears constantly. For what purpose, I do not know. I do know that I am being shown a far different way to approach my own Spirituality. And while that particular Path has some rocks and roots that I occasionally trip on, its a Path that is providing me with a view I would never have otherwise seen. And for that I am grateful. Certainly, these two Gods have some purpose for me. What it is, I do not know. But I suspect that the waiting side of things is a lesson in patience. 🙂