Chasing My Rabbit

So, I’m spending my morning sitting here – listening to some Louisiana’s LeRoux (great band by the way) – sipping some coffee with Hazelnut creamer.  Outside my window, the Easy-bake oven known as “Texas” is cranking up for another day of triple-digit heat.  I’m working on podcast files — now remembering how much time it took to actually put together a segmented show instead of a singl;e-shot recording.  But that’s all right — while the show may be a little late, I’m finding more and more information to add to the NEXT show as well.

Each day provides a new step on this adventure that I call my Life.  Sometimes, the steps are the same as the days immediately preceding it — sometimes those steps are different.  But its the experience of taking the steps that counts most for me.  Experiencing all that is inside this day is what I am constantly seeking.  It continually shapes who I am – continually informs me of what is taking place for me – that daily experience is the definition of who I am.

Previously in my life, I didn’t look closely at the experiences.  I worried about reaching goals defined by the society around me.  I had to work to climb the corporate ladder.  I was fortunate enough to have done so.  When I reached a pinnacle point, I looked around and did not like the view from that “lofty” perspective.  So I changed my Life’s direction.  And I sat on the unemployment line for two years because of that change.  While that two years really worked over my bank balance and made for some lean times for eating – it also allowed me the time to pick up my own Life and examine it from every angle.  To see what parts I wasn’t pleased with (and there will always be parts I’m not totally pleased with – another revelation that surprised me), see which ones I could change, and reposition myself to reach those changes.  I realized a lot of things about myself – I don’t want to be rich or in a high-level corporate position.  I need only enough for me to live comfortably and still have a few “wants” that will always remain out of reach.  I’m a good teacher, I enjoy inspiring people in the classroom to not only learn the subject matter, but to also continue moving towards their own personal goals in life – even when those goals are nothing that I would personally care for.  After all, those goals are THEIRS, not mine.  Assisting them towards those goals is a very satisfying direction for me.

A few weeks back, I had a vivid dream when I was sleeping.  I was walking through the prairie fields, where the grasses came up to just the lower portion of my shoulder.  Yes, I was in an animal dream, where I was in the form of a coyote.  I could feel the wind blowing lightly through the grass, making it undulate back and forth like the rolling of the sea.  I could feel the presence of a rabbit ahead – the one I was chasing.  Each step I took towards the rabbit – it took another step further away from me.  When I dashed out to shorten the distance between us, the rabbit sped up as well, keeping the same distance between us.  After a while, I realized that the rabbit was only keeping a certain distance between the two of us.  When I stopped, the rabbit stopped.  When I started walking towards it, it kept the same distance.  When I walked away from the rabbit, it followed.

This is a dream that I wrote down.  I don’t always have vivid dreams that I remember, much less those where I have an animal form throughout.  I have sat for long periods of time and tried to understand what the dream was trying to tell me.  Was the rabbit an unattainable goal that I was seeking?  Or was it a sign that I was meant to follow to some conclusion?  I’ve never come to a certain conclusion on my own.  However, I’ve started to realize that the “chase” aspect can be applied a bit to my own life. I don’t have a need to chase the so-called “American dream”.  I’d rather chase my own dreams – experience the world around me as I desire to do so.  All of that doesn’t have to line up with what anyone else wants out of Life – they have their own Paths to walk, their own dreams to chase.  I’ll continue to follow this rabbit — I’m not totally sure if I’ll end up in a similar location to Alice or if I’ll eventually find myself in a gathering with others.  Regardless of where things wind up going — its that experience that will have meaning for me in the end – and its that experience that I will treasure.


2 thoughts on “Chasing My Rabbit

  1. Hi.I don't know if you ever read my blog at but my interest in paganism is really centred on plants. Not just entheogenic plants like Peyote or Salvia (I'm too wary to actually partake of them but I actually like just growing them and being around plants which are held as sacred), but also herbs and plants which have a pagan folklore or healing qualities attached to them. I have been a fan of your podcasts for several years now and really respect your take on things, even if I ever disagree with them. You spoke once on a topic I suggested about what makes certain landscapes or places sacred and wonder how important certain plants are to your philosphies. What are your opinions on Governments banning other life-forms which are held as sacred by many? (I think peyote, for example, is illegal in America). Are there any plants or herbs you have a particular pagan interest in? Do you thinks plants even have spirits? I would love to hear your opinion on this subject as I don't think I recall you ever mentioning this sometimes controversial subject. Thanks again for your thought-provoking podcasts. They really are refreshing to listen to,Chris

  2. Chris;I definitely do read your blog — its setup in my subscriptions (almost wrote prescriptions there, LOL) list so I see new updates all the time. This is a good topic — even for a black-thumb like myself. I'll come around to addressing that in the near future (just wrote it into the topic listings for future reference).

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